Do I Smell Election Fever?

The 'pundits' are saying that Canadian Prime Minister Little Stevie Harper's day's are numbered. Wolfie the Magnificent, Gershwin or whatever the leader of the Liberals calls himself, has bestirred himself from summer dreaming, girded his 'lion' (that's what they're calling him) and declared that "Mene! Mene! Tikal" has shown up on Stevie's patio door.

Apparently we've entered the electioneering mode. But we have yet to see those 'focus' ads pouring out of the PMO and whatever government agency is springing for the expose on Liberal pandering. What with everybody being at the lake, there haven't been many gaffes this summer. Other than Goody Doofus doing things to himself (or letting the 'little men' do him for himself).

There's the on-going shortage of medical isotopes - a situation with which he boxed Liberal ears with a year back and then parleyed into a testicular event when his chosen men obviously weren't up for the occasion and FUBARed the program.

Then there was his eminence's recent round of appointments to the Senate. This round on 'bonhommie' reminds us all of what Stevie was saying was wrong with the Senate when we elected him. Too bad his minimal majority stopped him from passing electoral requirements for the Upper House, like he swore he would do. Heck, if ya can't beat em, what the hey, appoint away and be darned!

Then there's the economy. Stevie's got us 'on line' for 12 trillion semolians to bail out the economy. But other than manufacturing, which he has no intention to 'help', and infrastructure renewal, which he's in the process of announcing, Stevie's gang of thieves hasn't spent much at all. A few million to help the Swedes finance buying Nortel and a few billion to the struggling automakers, some piddly amounts into junking clunkers and a home renovation program that won't do much for any but the well-heeled, his malignancy, FiMin Flaherty, should be in for a good year and a better one next, if he can line the premiers up for some mutual swilling and tax harmony.

All those promises of money and nary a dollar actually spent. A car salesman's dream - Mike Harris will be dribbling in his trous over that one. Makes one look positively fiscally responsible. Remember the deficit Flaherty told everybody Ontario DIDN'T have before he lost his job at the provincial bourse? He's one guy who could eff-up a tax windfall.

And finally there's the thing about 'real Canadians' like the little white gal sprung from Mexican tyranny, and the 'darkies' who keep on visiting countries where they don't appreciate a good bottle of Crown Royal. Or if they do appreciate it, the gang at the embassy will be buggered if they're going to get it. Or at least the 'darkies' in question and assistance - as opposed to a mediocre rye. 'Harpie' had two of them 'twisting in the wind' - one for the better part of a year at the embassy in Khartoum and the other in a Kenyan slammer for three months. Gosh darn it, we really should 'do somethin' about Canadian passports.

But why the electo-babble. Why it must have had summat to do with the recent hi-jinks in Afghanistan. That little UN exercise 'only' cost 20 million to run. One might muse that, if the spending was 'up there with what Canada spends replacing it's muffins, or even, lawdy forbid, anything even coming close to 10 percent of what America calls 'paying for democracy', then a different outcome might have been expected in Afghanistan. But that lesson is long lost on North Americans. If even a tenth of what we've spent on bang-bang had been spent on redevelopment another outcome might have been expected. But there are signs of hope all over the place.

The UN chief electoral officer, a nice Canadian boy, wasn't long in declaring the Afghan travesty an 'honest and effective' election. No mention that, although President Karzai is now president-elect with a massive 45.7 percent of the votes cast, only 20 percent of Afghans actually were able (willing?) to cast a vote. This down from a massive 90 percent turn-out back in the days when victory was in the air. The opposition started crying 'stuffed ballots' and other irregularities which are considered S.O.P. in the land that time forgot. Karzai's majority* is reported to be slipping as tabulations continue and the US ambassador, who cut his teeth dealing with rabid Ulstermen, was reported to have had an intense conversation with Karzai.

* The final count seems to be more or less done. With up to 1/3 of Karzai's ballots being tossed as fraudulent, he managed to squeak across the magical 52 percent or whatever number stops the fiasco from having a rerun. They obviously a) found a lot more Karzai ballots or b) dumped as many of the opposition's.