Friday, July 07, 2006

World Piece and Lunch

The secret that has eluded diplomats for centuries in their search for harmony between nations has been right under our noses all along, it's lunch. More particularly, the White House lunch.

Less formal than the White House dinner - which can be a little over the top, diplomatically speaking, the lunch affords the President an opportunity to be a buddy, or a baddy, to the invitee. It provides the opportunity for some 'sidebar' deals that are the hallmark of what America is all about. If the sucker bites, that's great! If the president misspeaks himself, or if the sucker don't bite, then the second squad of 'tough' negotiators moves in to make sure that the world's best and greatest gets exactly what it wants.

The massive problem caused by Kim Jung Il and his 'Rockets for Reds' program could be settled with the drop of an invitation. A Texas style bar-b-q and a photo opportunity with POTUS are all the Great Leader really wants. Oh, maybe a sidetrip to Graceland and afternoon at Disneyworld as well. But all this sabre (or rocket) rattling could be solved with a little love.

Speaking of love. The leader of Canada - the True North Strong etc, is in Washington for some petting and stroking. And the results? He went down to talk about the shitty trade deal we negotiated, open borders and winds up getting the heebie-jeebies about the Korean rockets from the Prez. Not only that, he's making noises about that multi-kazillion dollar missile defense shield the US would like the 'free' world to help her build. Then the USA would get the respect it deserves, being able to nuke whoever they needed to, without having to worry about somebody shooting back. One-way assured destruction - the dream of conquerors.

One could just imagine that initial meeting yesterday.

Welcome to the White House, Preston. Say, have I met you before? Anybody ever tell ya ya got hair like JFK? Ya pork a lotta bimbos like him?

My name is Stephen, Mr. President and yes, we met here just a couple of short months ago.

Well welcome back Steve. One of the hands on the ranch is called Steve. I wanna show ya a trick I learned last week. Take off your jacket for a minute will ya?

Mr. President, I'd like to say thank you for the opportunity to meet with you like this. There are some important issues....

Get down on all fours for this, Preston. I'm just gonna sit on your back here for a minute. Don't worry about the spurs, I only need 'em on the golfcart.

Mr. President, I ...

Ok Now Preston, crawl around and make pig noises.

Oink, Oink. Snuffle, snuffle ,oink!

Crawl faster an I'll give ya twenny bucks. Hey Rove get yer camera, I gotta get a picture of this. Soooeee, Soooeeee!

You keep this up Preston and we're gonna get along just fine!

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