Sunday, June 24, 2007

How are the Mounties Fallen?

The Toronto Star published a cartoon that sums up what's happened and what's going to happen to the Royal Canadian 'Horse Marines'. It's going to get some after-disaster restoration. Nothing too fundamental mind you, a thorough cleaning patching and reassembly as it was before. With new 'leadership' of course.

The current head 'honcha' Bev Busson, a product of the old Guido 'Sarducchi' school of leadership, will be taking her pension after having tidied up the mess her predecessor made of the Mounties. She no doubt has policing skills that have allowed her to rise to top command - the First female Superintendant of the RCMP, but perhaps its more in the looks department. Ever notice a resemblance to a certain 'uber frau' of celluloid fame?

Justice Minister Stockwell Day, who has never been noted to have an intellect, has decided that the 'Farce in the Force' isn't anything that can't be solved with some cosmetic changes and a PR campaign. The force first needs to find a leader worthy of his nose bag. I would have suggested someone on the order of Constable Tom of the old National Lampoon Comics. Somebody who's so honest he can actually appear stupid, or vice versa, but who looks magnificent in his red serge. As an alternative there's the 'official' cartoon mountie being blatted by the post office for kiddie stamp collectors - 'MacLean of the Mounties' - a splendid-looking, public-friendly specimen a model for many waiting their chance around hindquarters - right down to his cute little soup-strainer. Bottom line, it won't be another female. Lending herself to shaking the cereal at the top, Busson has gained femininity a black eye with the Sargent Preston types. On the other hand it will be another 'riser' who, if like the others, learned not a wit from the Force's boners and peccadillos over the years. Another 'team' player, as opposed to one of those nasty 'whistleblowers'.

They say that justice delayed is justice denied. I think the same holds true of the RCMP. It needs a makeover - including some significant -'liposuctioning' and paring to make sure that the next leadership cadre is mindful of tradition only where it can best serve the people of Canada and not necessarily the RCMP. Julian Fantino would look lovely in red, but he shares some of Sarducchi's 'divine right' traits.

Watch out for future the future adventures of the Mounted - there'll be some, because it'll still be screwed-up.

No comments: