Some Guys Really 'Slay' Me

One of the recent bits of entertainment in our local rags was a murder story involving a retired cop. The 'Wills case' amazed readers in the Toronto area - not with its revelations or bloodthirstiness, but with the bullheaded stupidity of this former 'peace officer' and the way he planned and managed the side show that was his murder trial. He was ultimately found guilty. And then the rest of the story came out.

Wills had been a member of the Metropolitan Toronto Police Force when he met and had an ongoing affair with Linda Mariani. The affair ended, the trial uncovered, when he bashed her head in with a baseball bat and stuffed her body into a plastic garbage can for later disposal. Her putrefying corpse was discovered some 4 months later behind a phony wall.

At the trial Wills portrayed himself as a lothario, a genius, a superlative business mind, a great wit, raconteur, family guy, good cop, ordinary Joe, nice guy and dedicated man. He also came across and a bully and an ignorant lout which may be closer to the real him, but he's probably too vainglorious to realize that. His testimony of the relationship and the events of the 'noche triste' ran two weeks in court. He tried pinning the blame on her husband and denied all knowledge of the woman while she rotted in his basement. He claimed she fell, hit her head and died. The storage was part of a lovers' pact to inter each other at a cottage property. He didn't explain how the rope came to be tied around her neck, or the baseball bat included in 'the garbage'. The judge 'bent over backwards' to accommodate his antics.

Afterwards it was learned that confession (to his sister, and a friend) evidence was witheld from the jury by some legal sleight of hand when they were listed as defense witnesses but never called. It also came to light that Wills had divested himself of all his property, signing a number of properties and his police pension over to his ex-wife. So, as a pauper, Mr. Wills undertook to mount his own legal defense. The judge realizing that without advice, Wills was apt to do something that would cause a judicial ruling that might give rise to a later mistrial. So legal assistance was ordered by the court and paid by legal aid. Wills worked through seven lawyers in the course of the trial and his defense cost the public well over 3 million dollars.

They say there's a sucker born every minute. Wills makes everybody look like a sucker. After his appeal, no doubt he'll be afforded special protection in prison due to his former profession. Maybe he can develop some malady that will have him on the 'farm' on light duties with lots of regular exercise, conjugal visits and day passes. Somebody is just stupid enough to give it to him.