Friday, May 26, 2017

Donald's First: the Presidential Tour

Donald is wrapping-up the first of what promise to be some very exciting trips to see some really great people in some very interesting places. He'll be jetting home after he reads the riot act to the sluggards of NATO who have fallen behind in their dues. At Mar-a-Lago there's no free lunch, there are membership fees too - why shouldn't that happen everyplace else?


                                                     The Chinaman's free lunch


The 'outing' began with a trip to Saudi Arabia and a meeting with the Arab summit.   It turns out that was the best place he could have started.  Not only were the Shriners really great people, they also gave him a very special decoration and let him get in on a tribal dance. then they let him tell all the Muslims what he thought about making them greater.  His advice;  "Kick them Out!"



                                             The beheadment sword dance

 Never one to beat around the bush, Trump out-war-Presidented the last two in making America's message very, very clear.  No more  'If your people shoot at my soldiers,  they'll die"  or "Show us the evildoers"  Trump 'nut-shelled' it in a way that could be easily-committed to memory: all Muslims have to do to get ahead in the  new American World is 'Kick them out'. Kick out Al Qaeda, or ISIS or Hezbolleh, kick out Nusra Al Shams, Black September, Fatah, Hummis - any evil-doing organization - 'kick them out' into the street and into  the gun sights of waiting Apache jockeys.  Like  'good guys' have been trying to get them to do for almost 20 years.   Problem for Donald is that he's neither a Muslim, nor as far as most Muslims are concerned, a particularly 'good' guy himself.   They applauded and eyed-up his nearly naked women - I'd bet  a lot like General Dreedle's WAAC, - but I wouldn't hold back on dessert waiting for them.



                            I think I can get this into a crack, they let you do that if you're famous


 After that it was back to his roots - everybody knows that 'real' life on Earth started in Jerusalem.  Which was where the Israelis thought Don would announce the latest US embassy.  Dumb bugger wouldn't do it.  Even though the good guys got ISIS to claim they'd tried to put a permanent period on Ariana Grande's spectacular career, all he would do was add them to his 'loser' list. So aside from a few moments spent communing with the trillions of shekels traded at temples of times past and having the ladies pay their respects separately,  Donald only got a cheap yarmulkeh from the Jews. They were probably chuffed about the Saudis becoming a 'first world military' all of a sudden.

Off to Rome and the Holy Father - fap!  The Pope didn't even offer him a 'red hat' like the dozen he passed-out the day before. Something like that and a title 'Prince of the Church' would have been a great great honor for Trump. And he didn't get one. The wall just gained another three feet.





Finally off to NATO and then back to the G7 in Italy.  Both of those are potential losses,  for the NATO gang aren't going to go for his 'Kick 'em out' thing any more than the Arabs did. The G7 could be a real disaster - since Trump has held free trade with anybody, including the G7, as something almost as desirable  as a case of shingles.



The NATO 'shove' - a Bromance is born - even Presidentress Grabheraitus of Lithuania loves the Trumpster. This from one of America's best 'peeple readers'.







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