We're Havin' a Hearin', a Congressional Hearin'

America's latest best 'reality TV show' is now on - coming live from the legislature in Washington DC.  A "bilateral committee" of Washington politicos is looking into the case of the 'fudged' election and whether, or not, all the 'new' President's men had any truck with the 'comintern' in the Kremlin.

I say fudged as opposed to 'probably fudged' or the even more vague 'possibly fudged' election, because one thing EVERYBODY on the committee is sure about is that the Russians  'did something' to affect a US election.  They're trying to find out just what that was and who helped them do it. And PROVE it.  As a side show,  the committee is investigating any links anybody in the Trump administration may have had with the Russians. This because the most recent National Security director was in communication with the Russian ambassador to the US from a holiday home in the West Indies and the phone call was intercepted. He 'lied' about it and was forced to resign.  Since then the hue and cry 'who else' had gone up, followed, shortly,  by 'did Trump know about it?'

And so the pols have gathered.  But what initially looked like a slam dunk for the deprived Hilary is starting to look more like a national fiasco.

Recently  on the hot seat, one James Comey - head honcho of the FBI, who was assisted by some Admiral presently commanding the NSA. What a well-watered dope that lad is.  He led-off his perambulation by informing the panel that, although he had already imparted all his security wisdom to the principals of the body, and normally would not divulge what his agency was doing, he was "empowered" to let them all know that the FBI was investigating the Russian theft of a US election.

He concluded as to how, what he was about, was protecting America and Americans, wrapped himself in bumpff and hooey, then opened the floor to some questions. Some of the questions he was asked touched on other possible investigations - he was very fey about responding to those - pleading his version of 'the fifth' (If I told ya, we'd have ta kill ya, etc.) . But he received at least two 'lobs' that he must have thought he had belted right out of the park. One of those was in regard to Trump's recent charges that Obama had had his phone tapped.  When Comey replied that he 'had no information on that', his pronouncement was received as 'proof' that Obama had done no such thing and Trump was lying, again. The second lob was about Putin stealing the election by leaking stolen email - on that he could state it was true and the FBI was investigating the details. The big dope beside  him indicated that the NSA "had no information about that", because the NSA didn't focus on America but on threats from outside. You can go figure how that statement parlayed itself into  definitive proof that Putin had gerrymandered an election away from Clinton.   Apparently "I don't have any information" is a very meaningful term to US pols and their supersleuths.

He also dropped himself into some difficulty. - or allowed some sharpie to bamboozle him. One Representative - howdy dowdy or something, started to ask him about the intent of the FISA act and the courts in protecting Americans while attacking terror. Comey agreed that there were safeguards in place to protect innocent Americans who might inadvertently show up in investigations that did not really involve them. Their rights were protected by 'masking' their identity even up to the highest offices.  A jail term of 10 years was stipulated for anyone who "feloniously" divulged such information.  Dopey from the FBI even huffed and puffed a little about his desire to offer such protection. He asked his big buddy if the NSA could 'unmask' such  Americans and was told yes but only a handful were so qualified. He admitted there were more FBI employees who could 'unmask' Americans - because they dealt with more Americans (if that makes any sense)  'possibly a hundred',  but Comey didn't know for sure.

Led down a garden path,  Comey admitted there were others who could 'unmask' Americans cited in reports, if they were asked to, by higher authorities.

And then the representative unloaded. He laid out a chain of reports in national newspapers describing how 16 Americans - all members of the Trump transition team - had been 'unmasked' in a variety of materials that were 'gathered' apparently under FISA rules. There was no criminal cause for gathering the information and even less cause for having these citizens 'unmasked'. When asked if the FBI was investigating that crime Comey admitted it was a felony but he fell back on the 'fifth' and would neither admit or deny anything.  This is the start of another House investigation. For somebody leaked information and somebody unmasked as-yet-innocent Americans. And somebody requested their unmasking.

To round-off a bad day for the good guys, one of the co-chairs reported, to the media and President Trump, that he had been given evidence that indicated that "communications" from Trump administration staffers had been "inadvertently gathered" by National Security organizations. Information, the Chairman pointed out, that was available, now, to the officers of National Security organizations but also to politicians who might have been part of the former administration. Information that had been withheld from the sitting President.

The 'reaction' to that news was that, by failing to notify his Democrat co-chair of the finding before notifying the President, he had essentially 'destroyed' the work of the House committee.  Things had been going so well to nail Trump and then ..... kismet.  Trump might have been right about his email being 'tapped' and possibly Obama getting it. Whether Obama ordered that, or not, remains to be seen.

'Inadvertent' seems to have become a positive American character trait.

The Ever Present Threat to Things Flying through the Air

                                                 Orv and Wib and the first air fatality

Ever since Wilbur and Orville noticed that somebody could get hurt on, in, or under, a flying machine, mankind has taken 'the willies' about the notion of being smashed to death when an aluminium foil flying device  comes in contact with anything harder than itself. Indeed one of the scarier thoughts, and the subject of a number of  'thrillers' and actual murder plots, is to have something explode in a plane ... and fire its human contents into the open air and at great height. As some wag said of such things, 'it isn't the fall (if you've been spared the blast) that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the bottom'.

In the bad old days, when people weren't so easily 'radicalized', a notice on the wall often took the place of somebody with a gun as 'security' - in train and bus stations and airports, But those 'old ways' have changed.

                                                 Old fashioned 'nukuler' test site warning


To-day we are constantly reminded, as our forebears apparently weren't,  that life can be extremely transitory (as if it isn't) and that we need to be aware, very aware. Well somebody standing on the ramparts of our freedom needs to be aware, anyway.

                                               See the large cloud? The 'drone' didn't do it


And so, to-day, in a growing number of places, the fear that somebody can slip something explosive into a very difficult place,  has forced some of our defenders to ban all electronic devices - above a certain size, from being 'boarded' onto an aircraft with a passenger attached - at least from a small number of all-of-a-sudden 'very dangerous' air hubs.  If previous instant is any guide,  such 'prevention' will grow into a pound and  then a ton of cure - very soon,  everywhere.  For aren't 'they' out to get 'us' where ever we, and they, may be found?  If we plug one rat hole,  won't they only open another?  They used to just plant explosive  in luggage and detonate planes  but we've made that 'too hard' for them to do. They've tried exploding shoes and explosive underwear - should we be surprised that they've figured some molecular way of getting it into a functioning laptop or IPad?  Christ,  the ARE trying to kill us all, aren't they?

   
                                     You could get maybe three or four grams of Boom-boom in there.


But never mind that, if they can get a bomb into your electronics, or their own, and get it onto an aircraft, it won't be any less dangerous in the cargo hold than it would be under your seat - at least personally, in a very direct way. (see the falling from great height reference above.)


To me the new precaution doesn't make a lot of sense, or as much sense as checking electronics for traces of explosive - they do - and making sure they actually work - they don't.  Some folk are saying, to-day, it's actually a 'safety measure' about exploding lithium batteries. That begs the question about what makes lithium batteries getting on  planes at 6 specific airports more dangerous than the lithium batteries getting on planes everywhere else?  Some of these batteries have been known to burst into flames.  I'm pretty sure that 'fire on board the aircraft' is probably lesson two in the aircraft safety training program - right after 'fastened seatbelts' and just after 'barfing'.

                                 
                                                     checking for explosive earbuds

Some other minds are saying it's 'airline competition' at work.  But who's losing here?  The business class? They regularly rent their 'own' plane for international travel and despite what's said at the other end, their baggage stows where their baggage goes. And many places they're VIP enough to have it and themselves whisked-off the airport tarmac with a police escort - unchecked and untroubled by customs and immigration. Frankly, Scarlett, I can't see the competition at work here, unless only some airlines flights are involved and not the travelers  from those 6 'hell-holes'  - with what could be 'kinetic' electronics.

                                         No bombs on this baby - unless it's assassination

It's Probably Just as Well We Didn't Know.

As your Mom probably said, "What you don't know won't hurt you.'  Not only did that mouthful came from a simpler time, it also probably indicated her degree of familiarity with the legal system - in which ignorance of the law remains no excuse.

But it wasn't what we didn't know that apparently 'hurt' us, or somebody,  the most last year, it was the bullshit we did know - that led to the time being called being called "the year of false news". It was so bad that a fiat of Congress, working in rare syncopation with the outgoing 'prexy', led to it now being 'illegal',  in America,  to initiate or to publish 'news' that is known to be untrue.  Such a law might stop the 'funsters' at 'The Onion' or 'Charlie Hebdo' or 'The National Enquirer' , but it gets that black eyed 'ex-admiral' who 'does' the WH press  briefings off the hook.  For he knows squat about anything he's lying, or not, about. Frankly, Martha, like the other 'faux' tales - like the gallant rebels fighting-off a genocide in Aleppo, or the Russians hacking the hell out of all that's good and decent left in America - the BS wasn't even mildly entertaining.

 But what it did do was cause the mainstream media to have to 'cut' some other stories that truly might have annoyed the sheeple.

One of the biggies this year were stories casting our friends and allies in less-than-complimentary light. Not the standard Afghan or Iraqi allies, constantly 'on the take' and doing their darnedest not to adopt good old American values, no siree. This time the lamp of ill-light fell upon our friends in Saudia Arabia, and Kyiv and even Manila.

The Saudis started 'buying the biscuit' when they tried to quash a court case against them for damages arising out of the 'Nine-Eleven'. While we know that the Iranians have been 'buttoned' by the courts as holding some fiscal responsibility for setting things aright, the notion that the nation that spawned 11 of the 14 hijackers and the organization to which they pledged allegiance, should walk away unencumbered was a long time being set-aside. But it did. and spite all the diplomacy a few hefty donations could buy,  the court ruled that the suit could move ahead. No doubt while the 'shriners' prepare their defense, the legal team is playing a game of 'all pile on the A-rab' - class action suit wise.  This should be a doozie - for a number of reasons.

Kyiv is another major source of horsepellets. To read of it Putin is attacking them daily - killing them by the tens while an uncaring world sends neither the money, nor more lethal weapons.  Every so often that neo-nazi 'right sector' they claim to be 'harmless',  takes to the streets demanding Maidanic change, war a l'outrance with 'the russians' and, last week, a removal of the Jews ( 'Sieg heil! Get out of my homeland!").  Meanwhile the economic basket case of  EUropa is losing its basket.  But that's all Putin's fault, too.

While were at it,  we should mention another under-reported weeping ulcer in Libya where the 'rebel' forces we 'put down'  just recently by deploying the Marines and US naval aviation to 'assist' our pal General Haidar, had the affrontery to send a jet to shoot up one of his 'arms runs',  just yesterday.  The fat Lady can't even find the Syrian theatre.  We'll be reading more about her, there .. or not.

One of the stories that isn't being told about Syria is the notable lack of 'getting even' being done by Assad's victorious forces.  He even allowed the UN to organize buses to run the fleeing rebels, with their small arms, and, it is reported, some of their hostages and possibly even western military advisors,  off to  the nearest rebel strongholds. Very few of them have been abused, let alone summarily executed. But we were told anyway that it was a "genocide"! That was just a lie.

The white helmets disappeared as if they never existed, maybe they were just more cinematography.

Yemen gets the odd mention, which is truly odd.

 The Philippines seems to be 'spinning out of control' in the hands of a 'mad' despot who probably stole his election, too, and who doesn't seem to have much interest in inviting the US navy to face off against China over 'Philippine waters',  or asking the Marines to teach them how to kill 'terror'. We won't hear much before the assassination.

Central West Africa is another cesspit being 'orchestrated' by Africom - another fine division of the 'greatest farce for good on erth' - and that's why we don't hear much about it, either. Somalia, Ethiopia, South Sudan, the Congo - all 'caca holes' - but no news is the best kind.

So while we haven't had much to worry about this past year, having a Trump at the helm promises to have the media working overtime to debunk his 'hooey' and edjumacate America to his pearls. Her isn't even the real President, see? Her's locked up in her study, planning a minyin wummins' march on Washington.

The 'commies' have a couple of interesting takes on other untold stories too.

Sputnik Dishes

Instead they give us 'massive responses' to just plain stupid.

Ft. Lauderdale

We're in safe hands with these bozos.
Not.

Security: Colour it Green

The Government of Canada is currently engaged in a  process of seeking input in what it calls its "Green Paper' on a revised security apparatus in Canada.  This is, possibly, the new Liberal government's, 'promise' to reevaluate the legislation set in place to 'protect Canada from terrorist attacks' after 9/11.  That has done a remarkable job,  as there haven't been any notable terrorist attacks in Canada since 9/11.  But that's no reason for not 'plugging the holes', that haven't been noticed yet, in the legislation.

                                                                        As if, eh?
 
 But is that real evidence of the effectiveness of the current legislation, or the ability of our security services to stay on top of a burgeoning threat?

 Well, if you listen to the head honchos, "No!"

The straight poop on a National 'Necessity'

Let's face it, right now we're defenceless, eh?  


CSIS has been remarkable in saying - when it does make public utterance - that the 'threat' is growing and developing and becoming ever so much more robust. So robust that CSIS is about to 'pop'?

And coming out of the blocks on that public consultation-green paper 'thingy' is Canada's premier police service, and its 'Big Stick of Solictiude'. To-day our RCMP 'commish' - took to the airways and media hubs, in class 5 dress-down office (casual) uniform, to decry the fact that the Force is to-day faced with new investigative hurdles due to cell phones and the 'innernet', that requires them to seek to acquire all basic data, everywhere, in Canada,  and require your internet service provider to store all your business for the future reference of police.

                                               'We just can't guarantee your protection' -

                                                                      Nor can we.
  
He showed up, as is his wont, with a Powerpoint presentation that shows just how far Canadian police are behind other civilized nations in tracking the business of the ordinary joe - New Zealand is waaaaay ahead  (having almost all its 'security' list spots 'checked' while the poor Canucks have none!)  If there had been a study of how much more effective New Zealand police were, as a result, I'm sure he would have presented it, No?

But isn't New Zealand famous for the case against "Kim DotCom" - the multimillionaire internet data thief?  After a court case lasting more than a half decade now, he's out 'on bail' and, of late, now able to travel internationally.  Obviously he has a good lawyer, a kazillion ill-gotten Kiwi dollars and  his case must have started in the 'old days' when police actually had to work to find evidence and prove something.  Back in the 'bad old days' when they had to warn you that you could give them evidence to convict yourself.  Or, 'horrors', when they had to show a judge that they had 'a case' to get a judicial warrant to  allow  them to search you,  or your house, or  to  play 'sneaky pete' and 'spy' on you to get evidence. But I divulge.

Commissioner Paulsen went on to enumerate a number of 'real' police case files that were hamstrung because either somebody had their rights protected, or refused to turn over their passwords or encrypted their communications.  He outlined a case of a child abuser who was thought to have files of his own children being abused on his 'locked cell phone'.  Now wherever would they get that impression, if they weren't finding images of his children somewhere else? And wouldn't they serve for a conviction?  Paulsen must have more knowledge of criminal behaviour than the rest of us, but even watching the movies would indicate that any crook who deliberately kept any kind of records of his sculduggery was a stiff sentence just waiting to happen. The real sharpies do everything viva voce and on the QT.  Having it all down in unencoded communications just seems like a big 'break' for the stupid.

He outlined some very expensive electronic wizardries gone wrong because of 'electronic tricks' the police never thought about and he decries electronic solutions tried,  that forced the police to go back to using 'less expensive' undercover agents (any of those I've heard about weren't cheap either) because the 'gizmos' were just too dang expensive.

Even though he had a heart-rending appeal about being 'stuck' and how somebody on-line had 'screwed-over his favorite niece' (probably those assholes from Nigeria), what Paulsen failed to do is make a convincing case about more data making police more effective, or Canadian citizens more secure.

Police 'mistakes' largely haven't happened because of things police didn't know, as much as from things they did know - and deliberately chose to ignore, or misinterpret. More information isn't going to prevent human nature.  And it's that 'lowest common denominator' part that should be the major concern. For the problems aren't going to be caused by the 'good' police, they're going to arise in the few 'bad apples that inhabit every organization'. If recent stories about policemen downloading official files to their home computers,  or worse still,  civilian employees accessing police databases for unknown personal reasons - as both happened this past week  - aren't a 'heads-up', then things like 'computer hacking' and guys like Snowden should be. For there is no indication that police and security can keep the information they already collect secure.

the green paper - backgrounder one page

To prepare Canadians for possible change - and the 'waffling' ( 'I really hate that sheeyat!  But I think it's really necessary') of Security Minister Ralph Gooddale over a recent CSI court case indicates there will be 'changes' - the Federal government has prepared a substantial website on the topic - with an overview of the proposed areas of legislation and a 'background document' to accompany each of the the feedback formS - multiple.

I took a glance at one page 'backgrounding':  'Information Sharing' - which outlined a bunch of info sharing scenarios. The ones that involved security interested me. A number of individuals interacted with a nefarious "Mr. A" to endanger Canada, possibly, in a number of  different ways. The document concludes with a synopsis of their faults and the actions to be taken.  But it, for me, begged a fundamental question: What about "Mr. A"?

If what he was doing, in each of these cases, wasn't prosecutable under the current law,  then the whole national edifice, and its National Security Act IS in trouble. Rather than develop a sledgehammer to nail every one of the B to L 'perps' in the background 'scenarios', and the very real prospect of  everybody else in Canada, why not just go after the  "Mr. A" who was also part of the endangerment of Canada?  Unless, of course, he's a CSIS 'operative', or a paid informant.  Somebody a pay grade or ten above duty counsel or  legal aid, would have to be protecting the hell out of his Charter Rights and Freedoms.

TorStar opinion piece

Omniscience is not a power I would trust to any security organization, just like omnipotence or any other attributes of what we used to call 'God'.  They're just not that good at much, yet.

Dudley on Steroids - CSIS

The old joke going around was that, when the government of Canada announced it was developing an in-house spy agency, there was a mass-transfer from the Mounties, and that for years afterward members of the RCMP, looking to pad the pension, could 'serve' for a few more years in Canada's super-sleuthing  agency.

Since then, we're led to believe,  CSIS has weaned itself away from the Mountie intelligence mentality and developed its own stable of thoroughbreds - selected and trained  'ab ovo', as civilian agents.  Government-related university profs and 'Law 'n Security' instructors must be collecting millions in finders' fees.

Recent developments, coming as a result of leaked information elsewhere, indicates that the civilians are no more scrupulous than were the RCMP when it came time to seeking that ever-elusive 'actionable intel' and, given what appears to be a hefty dose of organizational paranoia about a defense against terrorism, are almost criminal in their efforts to protect the rest of us.  While the old saw about 'setting a thief to catch a thief' is probably more accurate in theory than in practice - or so we would hope - the notion of setting a spy to catch a terrorist doesn't make any sense at all.  But then if spies aren't 'cutting it',  perhaps some 'patriotic terrorism' might be in order.

One thing that is evident, however, is that a basic requirement to 'do' CSIS well, is to have a tenuous grasp on truth, on honesty or on what is legal. Spies historically, don't consider these things to be qualities.

And so when the Director of CSIS spoke to the media recently, telling the Canadian people that he thought his agency's gathering the personal communications and information of virtually every citizen in the country, and then keeping it for well-over a decade, was, in his, straight-faced civilian opinion, "legal", for no one had told him not to that caused some political huffery-puffery from the Justtice Minister - veteran Ralph Gooddale and while he was naturally 'appalled', he couldn't think of anything he needed to do about it.  The media gave more blowback (or at least the 'radical media' ), but that, apparently, is going to have little effect on how CSIS continues to conduct its business. The business of keeping us safe.

But let's take a look at that 'safety' they've been keeping us in.

Has Canada been attacked by terrorists? Well there are the two headcases who killed soldiers - CSIS would point to them.  But then, CSIS didn't know about them until the NSA told them. And that after a search of Canadian police records - for these two were known to Canadian police - and not as terrorists. Apparently while they can and do collect everybody's phone conversations, CSIS can't scan Canadian police databases to identify anyone. Only one of these is 'known' to be a 'pledged' member of ISIS because he said so on a suicide tape left behind in his stolen car. The other one might have been too, but the police were interviwing him on a regular basis - just a day or two before he went mujheddin. The junior jihadi , subject of a separate blog, is another other-than-glowing example of CSIS in action. There was the notorious plot to transport explosives from Canada to attack California, but aside from 'knowing' the pair arrested at the US border lived in Montreal, CSIS wasn't able to add much to that investigation - they're in a US jail. Then there were the 'Toronto 16', the 'Niagara Train bombers', and a couple of cross-border terror plots - all successfully-prosecuted but involving paid informants and a robust police presence to 'flesh out' and  to assist the miscreants bringing their plans to fruition.  The British Columbia 'pressure cooker bombers', whose case was tossed a month or so ago when evidence before the court indicated that they were a couple of simpletons caught up in what looked like a security service 'practice exercise' - is another example of potential criminality in the line of duty.

That's about it for 'protection' - for Mohammed Arar didn't do anything but get paid damages for ISIS assistance in getting him renditioned. and a couple of other similar exercises were quietly dropped. If we've been saved from anything else it must have been so brutally frightening that CSIS is sworn to secrecy and can't reveal the danger we were in.

I'm no expert but,  given the evidence so far,  CSIS like its American cousin is punching well below its weight class for the money being spent. If it's punching at all.

In this aspect of National security, Canada may have labored and brought forth a malicious mouse.

Down that Rabbit Hole

Curiouser and curiouser - and somebody's getting paid to keep us safe?

The US 'suffered' another mass shooting last week. In their penchant for such things, it was described as 'the single greatest mass-killing by a lone gunman in US history'.   While it may be one for the record books, it is not a singularity in US history,  nor is it probably THE ultimate. For along with the normal three-day hoo-haw about 'who dunnit' and the seven-day mourning period for the victims, this incident is no different from any of the others - in that the essential condition which gave rise to it - the 'right' to bear some heavy-duty firepower - runs on, untroubled, to the gun shops and shooting ranges.  The US Senate refused to impinge, even slightly, on America's 'Gord-given' right to have an arsenal at home.

Perhaps obfuscating any change were the details.  While the Americans killed were possibly a cross-section of normal Americans, they didn't represent many of the true believers who hold America's best interests hostage to their own. They were for the most part gay, and for the other part largely Hispanic.  The shooter himself is being told-off - aside from the blatted 'pledging of allegiance to ISIS' - as a possible self-loathing  sodomite, or someone unlucky in that kind of love and looking to take a 'harem' with him.  He certainly succeeded killing and wounding well over 150 people in a two hour period when he wasn't holed up in a toilet, or trying to get through to 911.   One has to wonder what his 'load out' was,  as he walked, or flew,  or morphed  past the off-duty officers on duty as security guards.  Something went-off the rails there, for  not only did he have a long gun, a pistol and a knife, he also had  a significant amount of ammunition. And we're told he'd bought it all only days before. And he carried it all, unremarked,  into a closing time crowd.

                                            SWAT squad load-out. The battle of The Pulse



It's sad, really, that the shooting is remarkable only for a spate of the standard 'bolshoi' that seems to be the 'blffftsplk cloud' around all such sad events.

First there was the saga of the authorities having had him 'on their radar' but not being able to 'get the goods on him', or stop him.  His wife is facing charges of failing to stop him because she failed to notify authorities that she had been trying to talk him out of something that might have involved his new guns - if she knew about those. But when we hear about some of the 'terrorists' that authorities did stop, one has to wonder if they aren't relying far too much on paid informants  and mapping-out their own 'terror scenarios' to entrap some poor schmuck into doing them?

Nine terrorists who were stopped.

Then there are  the knee-jerk reactions and generalized stupidity that follows such outrages.  Somebody had his bank account frozen after after writing his dog's name 'Dash' on a cheque to the dog-sitter. Either the dog-sitter has a threatening Arabic name,  or somebody at Chase Manhattan was in 'Dwight Smoot'  mode and thought he had meant to write 'Daesh'.

Puppy dog tales 

In an even more humorous anecdote Homeland Security got involved when somebody created a money transfer to a buddy to pay for a night out  and memorandized it with the guilty phrase "ISIS beer funds".  Obviously that electronic communication was flagged in some 'trapment warehouse' and along with the nude selfies, 'sent up' for the attention of operatives with better skill sets.  This was the sort of thing that, possibly,  'soured' Snowden on America, one  might imagine, but the official follow-up was the work of morons and a waste of valuable security resources - considering a real terrorist shot up a gay bar and killed 70 people. .

This Bud's 4 U

And then there's that need to take some action. If you can't shut down a gun shop, or 500, well you can stop them jihads sending messages that make people want to grab an assault rifle and a passel of  ammo and go  wreak a cowardly killin' somewhere.  Facebook and Twitter are to blame for wrecking America if  the 'Allahu Akbars', 'salaam''s  and 'inshallah''s aren't curtailed.

Cutoff my nose to spite my face.

And lastly,  a truly sad commentary on the effects of it all.  This story is about a 3 year-old practicing her 'lock down' skills -  hiding in the bathroom and acting out what she might need to do if a bad man with a gun came to her school - stand on the toilet so he can't see your feet when he looks.

Peek a boo. Bang!

What's interesting is the response to the story.   Practical suggestions for further training for a wide array of emergencies at school and elsewhere.  The standard 'bleeding heart' criticism of the anti-gun population. Even a reminder that sanitation is important when hiding from a gunman. I'm surprised that nobody mentioned good etiquette. There were  reminders of how effective armed teachers might be - they'd certainly get those drills down pat ( Mr.  Woloshowinsky will be pretending to be the shooter to-day - his gun will remain unloaded.) .  Somebody recalled the good old days when hiding under a desk wasn't really going to save anyone from a nuclear bomb, (nobody wanted to frighten the kids by telling them that) . But it was used to do something in kids about 'Russians'.  A fear that many still hold in their essential being to this day and transfer, ever so easily, to whatever boogey-men are selected for their paranoic consideration.

As long as somebody suffering some delusion, or a bigger hate,  has access to a gun, kids in schools - or people in churches , theaters, libraries or simply on the street  are still going to get shot in America the Armed.

It's like dogs biting people - we'll ban breeds one by one, up the fines and punishments  - but we won't make the beggars, all of them, wear a muzzle if they're out in public.  Like muzzles on all dogs the answer to gun violence in America is glaringly obvious too.

No guns, no gun violence.

Superbowl Ell

The 50 edition of America's annual rite of passage took place last Sunday. It was a mediocre game lacking virtually everything that makes a play-off game of anything exciting.  A boring two hours played by two evenly-matched mediocrities.  It will not be remembered for the sport as much as for the military and its complex strutting and showing their stuff.

 It is such shows of militaristic jingoism paired with the 'sine qua non' commercialism that, possibly,  made Bushco2 come up with the notion that somebody might 'hate us for our freedumbs.'  One can imagine Nick the Greek and other such  iconic heavy rollers chomping down a little harder of that Costa Rican  'cuban' stogie and choking down a lump in the throat as they heard Lady Gaga get the National anthem as 'right' as it has been gotten in the past quarter century - she was 'pitch perfect' and forgot none of the lyrics.   Poignant, if not pregnant.


From there things all ran down hill, or down the leg.

A minor scandal tainted the National Football League this year when it came to light that all the national military fervor associated with opening-game ceremonies and involving members of the US armed forces were not voluntary. At least not voluntary from the NFL's perspective, they asked for and received,  the monetary gratitude of the US Department of Defense. They may even have charged for all the 'free' tickets handed out to participating military personnel. The love relationship between pro football and the Military was the same kind of transaction that takes place outside the gates of most military installations most Friday and Saturday nights - some mutual admiration and a cash transfer.

Perhaps that's why the DoD felt the need to get into the annual 'creative' advertising competition.

 The big game has become a contest of sorts to see what big business can do to shill its junk. Commercial advertising for the event, as well as being very expensive,  has become highly competitive and innovative as ad agencies vie to  have the ad with most YouTube hits after the game. US military suppliers Northrup-Grumman   might have a winner in the fantasy category. They chose to spend their boodle advertising the weapons of the future - a new,  yet-to-be-designed,  fighter jet that apparently could contend with the Sith Lord' s Tie Fighters.  But then the F35 is still a dud and the new advanced fighter is a gleam in, possibly, our granddaughter's eye - or it will be if it takes as long to gestate. 

While the viewing audience may have been awed - if they weren't in the 'biffy' or getting more dip from the kitchen, the game attendees had to be content with the displays and the fly-past, as well as what has been described as a massive military 'security' presence.

Air space was closed for miles around the venue, drones were prohibited. Military security vehicles, armed with heavy machine-guns, were prepared for the finest bang-bang a dollar can buy. And a whole company of field-equipped soldiers were deployed on watch inside the stadium. These latter in addition to the panalopy of service choristers, banner bearers, bandsmen and  the requisite command and control units required to pull it all off. The military was even linked to the GPS system which apparently is used to track and guage player movement, activity and health on the field during the game.  They couldn't do it without somebody.

Not to go unmentioned was the fantastic 'Pepsi half time show'.  The show featured the British groups 'Cold Play - but it shouldn't have bothered. The lead singer 40-something Chris Martin spent a noticeable amount of time rolling around on stages close to what could have been a couple of his daughters and their pre-teen friends - if he truly ruled the world, he might have done it better from a throne of some sort. But nice sneakers.  Bruno Mars reprising his big show last year could have carried this one all by himself - or rather, with his coteries of jazz-hopping homies - they had practiced their stuff, did it well and didn't grab crotch once - unlike the aforesaid Martin who must have had a blazing case of jock itch.  The third element - included I imagine for T&A effect, for whatever tune she was singing was inaudible -  was the badass of black divas 'Beyonce'. Appearing in her trademark vinyl 'knickers' - this year's surgical grade front zipper led the adolescent imagination in what might have been underneath that 'thang', with the industrial-strength performance hose.  She also had a pair of granny boots that only a foot fetishist, or Miss Grundy, could have admired. She was accompanied by a harem of black Jezibels on the not-too-well coordinated prowl for something. Some bozo writer in the Toronto Star, Monday, wrote a paean to Beyonce and her significance for blackitude,  black youth  and art.

Cold Play review

Shy of rolling a battle wagon into the game, the games couldn't have been better for the  military if no one else .... say there's a thought for next year.

Meanwhile  Levi Stadium, where the game was held, is on the orbit path of Kim Jung Un's newly launched satellite.

Anyhoo Akbar!

Homegrown terror has struck at the 'heart of Canada's democracy'. And in the aftermath, Canada's real democrats are preparing some 'very sound' steps to keep us all free. The first step is a serious funding increase for CSIS and the RCMP and probably for a 'new' security organization to 'fill the gaps' that CSIS and the RCMP seem to feel are 'wide open', namely on the internet.

Just last week the head of CSIS and the 'big stick' of the RCMP with the Minister of War,  Mr. Blarney, were comfortably ensconced before some parliamentary committee , reporting on the state of state security. There were 'areas of concern', they noted, but nothing that was 'beyond them'. They were still there when some ''radicalized" Quebecois ran over two soldiers at a Strip Mall in St. Jean, Que.

After that attack, the state security organs were quick off the mark to decry the 'self-radicalization' that resulted in 'terror attacks'. But once again, they were 'on it', having had the 'perp' in their sights and under observation for 'quite some time'. It's just unfortunate they weren't told of his jihadi plans, or watching him the day he did it. Some 80 such 'radicals were similarly in their sights, we were told - not to frighten, simply to inform.

 Then a 'gentleman of the streets' with what could be jihadi delusions of grandeur, or mental issues, shot a soldier guarding the War Memorial in Ottawa. He hen followed-up with what was described as a 'shooting spree' in the Houses of Parliament. That 'spree' resulted in one parliamentary guard shot in the foot, the shootist shot dead and the Sargent-at-Arms of the House of Commons probably in line for the Medallion of Fortitude, or whatever Canada calls its security-level VC.

Oh, and a 'world class' police security operation.

That truly put the wind up State Security - for they had to admit they hadn't the foggiest about what was going on.  US security even told them who the shootist was - apparently based on a photo that went up, and then down again, on an "Isis-related twitter account". It seems that the shooter may have stolen a rifle and ammo from a visit to his Aunt last week, for, according to  everybody, his police records and other proclivities would have banned him from gun ownership eternally, in Canada anyway. After he stole the gun he then must have posed for a selfie of himself holding it. If he didn't practice with it somewhere, the shooting of the guard might be classed as accidental, for he held that gun in a way that, if fired, could hurt someone, likely himself.

(The photo, above, which appeared on Canadian media within an hour of the incident and was attributed to “an ISIS twitter account”, now is being claimed to have been taken, at the cenotaph, during the incident, by a "tourist",  and forwarded to 'security'.
It was disseminated to emergency services to assist apprehension of the assailant. From there it was, apparently, forwarded to foreign intelligence  (the US identified the shooter)  and leaked to the press. Police are investigating how the leak occurred and by whom.)

Updated security cam ( quite a bit of it for low security Canada) is appearing. It shows the shooter arriving by car (his own) before the legislature, scattering a covey of parliamentarians and doing a windsprint up to the main driveway where he hijacks a limo and speeds off to the centre entrance, by now pursued by two RCMP units.

He 'dumps' the limo and sprints into the building, just ahead of the pursuing police, where we are told,  he had a 'firefight' with the door security, shooting one guard in the foot. He then 'escaped' down a hallway in a flurry of shots. He took up a hidden position in a nook by the parliamentary library door. At that point video shows security advancing down the hall toward him. In the meanwhile the Sargent-at-Arms of the legislature, a dignified looking ex-RCMP gent, hearing the shots, exited his office near the library with his service pistol in hand. Warned of the gunman's location, he took position on the other side of a pillar forming the 'nook'. It was reported that he could see the barrel of the gunman's Winchester protruding past the pillar. Diving to the floor, we are told, the Sargent rolled onto his back discharging his pistol and dropping the shooter. He then emptied his clip into the man, as other personnel appeared to join him in the fusillade. The video ended with the Sargent at Arms looking very cool indeed, pistol still in hand entering the Caucus chamber to inform the government that the assailant was dead.

The parliament building remained in lockdown until after sunset and the gunman's corpse was removed later in the evening. Work crews worked overnight to clean up and mask some significant damage from gunshots.

Parliament resumed its business on Thursday morning after a suitable dignified visit and photo-op at the War Memorial. A man was arrested by police for 'interfering with a police investigation' by crossing the yellow tape, much as the Prime Minister and his wife did. The Sargent at Arms was regaled to a thunderous standing ovation and a desktop-slamming by the grateful politicos. He was visibly moved by the tribute.

No doubt the impending legislation - which has been in the works for some time, will save us all from internet piracy if it does nothing else.

The Future War Zone

 I started to write this blog about 6 weeks ago when I read the article about the equipping of police departments with war surplus vehicles. I knew that was happening because I've read such info over the past three years. In Canada our police get new equipment, but military vehicles for police use are nothing new. And until now I think most of us just thought it's keeping us safe so let the chief have his budget. Well the time has come to say, in grand Belfast style, "Feck that!"

NYT: War Gear Flows to Police Departments

You see along with the increased armament, and the increased sense that there really is a very present danger, everywhere in to-day's world, goes an increased 'sense' that police are more in danger than other people. A 'bunker mentality', that I've written about before , makes police even more alienated for the 'society' they are paid to "serve and protect". Ancillary to all that is the fact that police are not expected to be any more intelligent or educated or enlightened than they have ever been since red caps were looking for work after WW2. Police are 'paramilitaries' in the worst sense of the phrase. They see themselves as 'akin' to soldiers without the training,  the military discipline or the expectations of some kind of 'sacrifice' or 'service'. They even describe themselves as 'veterans'.

In a recent story, the Pentagon decries the disinformation about their the arming of police forces. We didn't do it!  At least in the case of the warfighters of Ferguson  - nosiree,  they got it (except for a couple of Humvees and a hot dog trailer, they did get) from the National Guard - a totally unrelated organization - or they even bought it themselves, from somebody.

Where DO they Get It?

Whether they get it free, or buy it used, or even commission private enterprise to furnish them with the latest in 'crime-fighting security equipment',  police are armed and dressed like soldiers - full military assault gear - with exception of rations pouches for, most of the time, they will be home for lunch, or supper. Using military gear and military weapons - gone are 'sporting shotguns' -  the latest are all 'extra load' and 'pickitinny gizmoed'. They even use weapons that would land a military in contravention of the Geneva agreements - it's not a real war they're fighting - on drugs or crime, eh? So they only have to worry about some rights.

Here's another - about 12 000  surplus bayonets and 7 000 combat knives.

Stop that terror boys!

The sad and concerning thing is that police have been paranoid citizens for a long time. And now, tasked as they are, with possibly confronting 'terror',  they're more paranoid than ever. Nobody wants to die for his country and there's even less reason to die 'serving or protecting' the source of your paycheck. The 'Police Funeral' is only good if you can walk away from it and the group mentality seems to be approaching that of white slave owners in the antebellum south. Even though more carpenters are killed on the job, there's no reason why police shouldn't be armed,  armored and allowed to shoot first should they feel endangered.

And that is a privilege and responsibility (tongue in cheek), vouchsafed to only a few.

My second favorite p'leece force has got itself in the news again. This time for gunning-down some teen-aged run-amok. And then tasering the corpse to make sure the threat had been eliminated. Mind you, he had been warned.

On a good day this would be another tooth-sucker. However this particular incident - videoed by onlookers - made the front page. It might have been because most of the shift manpower congregated on the streetcar taken over by the 'violent youth'. Or it might have been the nine shots in two separate volleys that downed the perp. Or it may have been the fact that he was all alone, armed with a small knife and inside the streetcar yards from the nearest cop. Or it might have been the subsequent events. But the story has some legs.

Video of the incident

Naturally his righteousness the Chief of P'leece, the estimable Bill Blair, was in front of the microphones almost right away, as were the head of the police 'union' Mark 'Puggli' Pugwash and former and currently-serving coppers, like the accused, tried and reinstated son of a former Chief of P'leece Bill McCormick. The initial 'doing his dooty' meme was displaced with 'suspended with pay pending investigation' meme and segued into a charge of second degree murder for the poor cop who did the shooting.

Billy had it all well in hand however, looking at the possible charges under the P'leece Act and all and  getting the internal examination underway. He selected a retired judge to take the lead. But that man had to step down when the dead man's family objected to the Judge's ties to the Police Department's legal firm. Another retired Judge has since taken up the investigation. Chief Bill is waiting to see what happens.

Meanwhile the Provincial ombudsman announced that he was getting into the act with an investigation of his own. A couple of days after that he was in the media claiming to have been threatened by a policeman from a region abutting Toronto. Turns out the policeman he named didn't do it. But some other policeman from the Durham force had. Apparently he'd set up a social media account in his fellow cop's name and gone ahead and threatened the ombudsman. Needless to say the chief of that department couldn't release the name because he had an investigation going on about that. But he has that all well in hand, too.

And just the other day the Special Investigations Unit, which laid the murder charge, was in the papers claiming that there was a culture of non-cooperation at Metro Police encouraged, they believed, by the disinterest of his Nibs the Chief. Seems that Police don't like incriminating themselves or each other any more than the average crook. Even if they are well-paid and  get to sport fire arms in public. I'm wondering if the SIU was considering why 19 other officers stood by to witness the shooting without apparently, doing anything. That schoolyard fight witnessing is a hard thing to shake.

The public also got a thumbnail sketch of the legal lion who sticks up for the poor coppers before the bench of justis. Peter Brauti is the kind of lawyer most people could only wish they'd get. But he has access, through the police, to information  other lawyers only wish they could get. He's very good at his job, very few Toronto police have been convicted of anything. 'Going for the gold' , as opposed to negligence, or manslaughter, or a number of lesser charges on this one, just means it's more likely the cop won't be convicted.

 In one of the more stupid developments, some Tory pol came up with the notion that if every front line cop had a taser, they wouldn't need to shoot anybody. Although the logic of that escapes me, given the current story, somebody is willing to throw about $2 billion in new spending into a negative trade deficit to keep the elves at the Tommy Swift Electric Cannon Corporation of America in Dunkin' and Donuts. Needless to say the Chief thought the idea was brilliant.

The finest little P'leece Service money can buy maintains, and continues.

Terror's A-bustin' Out All Over

The world was shocked when two bombs exploded at the finish line of this year's Boston Marathon. Then we were awed by the immediate and massive 'response' to the terror that saw two individuals identified as suspects - their images plastered across international media - and a brigade or two of Boston Police, National Guard, Federal Marshals, FBI, Transit Cops, University Police and a number of other urban 'warfighters' gun down one 'perp' and drag another, critically wounded, from somebody's fishing boat.  The wounded perp. now in hospital, was revived yesterday long enough to be read his rights and charged, and apparently long enough to pen a message to the friendly guards that his big brother made him do it.

The saga continues to-day with on-going proof that the right guys got 'got'. The Russians identified one of them as a potential threat two years ago, but the human rights artists in the democratic west could find no fault in him, at the time - although they did investigate. I'm wondering why the Russians let him stay in Ingushetia for 6 months, transiting Demedovo airport in Moscow both times. Maybe the spelling mistake on the passenger manifest 'bollicks-ed' their watchfulness too. Although I'm pretty sure they did a passport check and that should have flagged him as an expat Chechen.

After the tragedy, however, we should all heave a collective sigh of relief that the trillions spent on stopping such stuff, while it may have only partly parried the intended blows - worked to serve as an example to any future perps that they might run but they cannot hide - and even running is unhealthy.  To-day, security is looking at the dead perp's wife - maybe she noticed the disappearance of the family pressure cookers (3 were reportedly used) or a surfeit of discarded packaging and parts.

emptied fireworks taken from the suspect's dorm room

Already, however, the 'conspiracy nuts' are pointing out anomalies in the 'docudrama'.

 A simultaneously, although less-noted threat was the mailing of a number of letters to high government officials, including the President. Said mail was reputedly laced with ricin, a deadly poison extracted from the castor bean. There was another immediate security 'eclat' when a Texan  Elvis-impersonator was named as the culprit and taken into the appropriate terror-fighting custody. He was released to-day after it turned out he was framed by a 'rival'. A bodybuilder charged with possessing a noxious substance for nefarious purpose was also later released when a third suspect was named to police. The jury's been reconvened to figure out who really dunnit. That later turned out to be the second guy's wife. Go figger.

                                                                                  "Elvis"

                                                            The second guy's Wife - Jezebel


Not to be outdone Canada's defenders of freedom announced they'd caught and arrested two 'sleeper agents' who were plotting to derail the Montreal to NYC Amtrak train. Immediately it was declared that the two men - Canadian citizens, from Tunisia and Palestine, were affiliated with Al Qaeda Iran and attending to the master plan of the mad mullahs to bring down the little bro' of the Great Satan. The perps have pled not guilty. But under the terms of the revised anti-terrorism legislation, expected to pass in the Canadian legislature by the end of the week, their convictions - rather confessions - are virtually assured.

What gets me, aside from the massive public expenditure to ward-off those who would blow us to bits while window-shopping, or taking the kids out to a public event, is the on-going notion that killing civvies in an explosion is going to make the 'terror' look more heroic and actually hurt the enemy. That just isn't the case. The result is, generally, a shrine of remembrance somewhere, a large dose of world sympathy and increased expenditure for protection and payback. If 'terrorist' were bent on destroying anything, it's themselves. And that what scares us so much.

A real terrorist wouldn't be laying bombs in places populated by thousands and surveilled by watchers 24/7. They be hitting the enemy in the 'soft' spots. Yes, it would upset the 'sheeple', but you can't mourn an extinguished electrical grid, or a tainted water supply, like you can the dismemberment of an 8 year-old kid. The former two might actually 'hurt' a lot more than the latter. And would cost infinitely more to 'secure'. Hitting infrastructure or essential resources in remote places is not only safer, it's far more effective. But terrorists won't do that, because it isn't terrible enough?

Our Security forces would have us think all terrorists are stupid.

I think the ones working for the security forces, the only ones they have, aren't stupid either. They know a good thing when the cops come looking for one. Giving one to them and getting a  reward for being a 'good citizen' is a game that's as old as the hills. Somebody, to-day, has a new gas station to run, a government pension and a new personality in a witness protection program.

The Security forces have another feather in their collective cap.

And were just as 'safe' as we were yesterday.

Right!

It's a Nutty Old World

The Canadian News was monopolized by a story that began with somebody's foot being mailed to a political office in Ottawa. The next day the postal department headed-off what turned out to be a hand, in the mail to a different political office. Then the headless, limbless torso of a body turned-up in a suitcase put out for garbage pick-up. Since then, the story has morphed into the world-wide (Europe at least) manhunt for a fugitive porn-star cum (no pun intended) artist, who allegedly video-taped himself murdering and dismembering a 'pal' in his apartment. The victim was to-day identified as a nice-guy university student of Chinese extraction who was looking 'for a friend'. His friend, the killer, is being described as someone very closely related to the great lord Beelzebub. He's also managed to make himself go 'poof', allegedly leaving Canada by air shortly after the murder and disappearing from the radar screen due, we are told, to the possibility that he has created multiple identities for himself and can change his appearance with some facility. That he doesn't have a proverbial pot to piss in, is, apparently, no impediment to his ability to get around and get away.

As an update: the killer was arrested while using the facilities of an internet cafe in Germany to keep up with his facebook following.  The latter, we learn, are a growing number  who see the gender-confused 'prawduct' of modern society as a 'troll model'. The cafe manager 'saw through' his disguise - ie recognized him from news posts, and called the police. The police were, it is reported, taken in by his denials - (keine deutsche spreche?)- but he finally 'fessed-up'. He was flown back to Canada on a military aircraft and is now undergoing intensive counselling. In sidebar, a teacher was fired for showing the u-tube vodeo of the murder/dissection to his civics class in a lesson about how to treat, or not treat, other people.

Bizarre as that might be,  is an even better story coming out of Miami this week where an apparently 'decent human being' (according to his family) reportedly got 'hepped-up' on some new style 'acid' and, after stripping naked while making his way home, assaulted and ate the face of a homeless individual he encountered, who was sleeping on a bridge. Numerous passers-by witnessed the attack and eventually police showed up. They ordered the man to stop feeding but after he refused and 'growled' at them, they shot him, and then shot him again whan he resumed eating. The assailant died, the assailed is reported to be a candidate for facial replacement surgery - having lost most of the skin on his forehead, his nose, his eyelids and lips. It was only the apparent  lack of a decent shave that saved the lower part of his face.

More mundane was the reported massacre of more than 100 people including a large number of women and children in a place called Houla in Syria.  Within  minutes of the occurrence the world press was laying the killings at the door of Bashir Assad, describing how the army had been shelling the area. It later turned out that the majority of the dead had been killed up close by gunshot. The notion of the Syrian army shooting civilians while under a barrage of friendly artillery fire seemed a little out of whack. Then the killings were laid at the door of 'government militia' who can, apparently, better stand the shelling whilst killing the innocent. An eyewitness, a little lad who drenched himself in his dead brother's  blood and avoided detection by the killers, when asked who did it, he responded, 'Why are you asking me that? Everybody knows who did it."

Since the intial reports,  at least three 'dissonent' ones are reporting the dead weren't shiite Arabs, but rather Armenian Christians and others aligned with the Assad government and  the killers now might well be the anti-government 'free Syria' forces. The UNHRC is calling for an investigation.

FARC,  the almost-defunct 'terrorist' organization in Colombia, recently released the French reporter they had taken 'hostage' when they ambushed a group of Colombian military engaged in a "peaceful" drug lab take-down operation a month ago. The release was accomplished in a village where the people seemed to be happy and  supportive of FARC - or all looped-up on the local 'medication'. A Colombian ex-senator and the IRC were on hand to take the 'victim' under protection. Notable in its absence was the Colombian military, which has stage-managed so many other such 'rescues'  and 'releases'. It will be interesting to find out if the 'hostage' bad mouths  his captors now that he's free, as has been the 'de rigeur' exercise on such similiar cases. Colombia is well on its way to having one of the world's premier fighting forces that American money can buy, it's certainly of a quality to-day to be able to make FARC permanently defunct. Then all the 'illegal' drug trade can stop. Unless those FARC are like the Taliban.

We were told this week that President Obama, as part of his duties has assumed the mantle of  'killer-in-chief' of the United States of America. In his duty as chief protector of America, we are told, he meets with his advisory staff and vets all those, world-wide, who are targeted for extinction due to their 'threat to  ___________'  (fill in the blank). What we weren't told was how somebody gets on the list, and how many times these targets have been acquired and attacked. Taking it on faith -  it's 'all good', clean, kills and totally necessary - otherwise it wouldn't be done, see? 'Legs Diamond' running 'Murder Inc' was  a crime, the President's-class world-wide version is a 'necessity'.

My favorite constabulary is in the news again.

The first story relates to a tragic accident involving a TTC bus and a heavy duty tow truck. The accident, which killed a female passenger and sent most of the other passengers to hospital, occurred when a TTC bus attempted to get around the tow truck. In the process it struck the rear end of the truck, forcing it off the road. The TTC driver, a 52-year old, 10 year employee, was unhurt and, 'shaken up', took the rest of the day off. Police determined that there were no 'obvious signs of impairment' (aside from the bus, see above). The driver refused hospital treatment, or testing.  And there it might all have ended, had not some 'investigating officers' found a quantity of pot in the driver's  gym bag.  To-day he's being 'investigated' for possible drug use and needless to say he's called his union into the matter. Having dope at work, and smoking dope at work may well be totally unrelated events in this instant, but the time interval between the accident and finding the dope should have blown any proof that he was 'whacked' at the wheel. He probably 'blew' a relaxation reefer, at home, afterward, to cope with all the stress - that would explain any negative blood testing. Even if there were no obvious signs of impairment, would any other driver get such an empathetic police investigation after a fatal accident they walked away from, I doubt it.

The other story involves the Pleece Chief  William 'Linda' Blair. He was recommending his 'Chief's birthday honours list' of the 'deserving' for advancement in the ranks, to the Toronto Police Board, when one of the civilians noticed that nine of the 'meritorious' had been cited for removing their identification at the  G20 pacification and response to potential terroristic activity,  last year. The Board voted to reject the Chief's recommendation and withhold a salary increase and promotion for the officers in question. Well, right off the bat, the PR department at HQ swung into gear with charges of  pleecemen being punished two times for the one peckerdillo. It seems the fellows had already suffered a 'one-day stoppage' of the pay for trying to hide their identity from those who would seek to harm them and their families - or try to charge them with assault, illegal arrest,  or other misbehaviour. I'd be willing to bet the stoppage was deducted at 'regular' salary as opposed to G20 'overtime' and special, hazardous duty deployment rates. The Board's well-reasoned response was that promotion isn't a right, it's a privilege bestowed by the employer at the recommendation of the Chief. The Board now wants to know just how the Chief goes about making such recommendations. Watch out for a massive pout and deeply hurt feelings at HQ.

Ancillary to this is another dose of Blair who, talking to the media recently, declared that a proposed 10 percent reduction in the police budget was going to result in a twenty percent reduction in the number of pleecemen and women on the force. We must have been getting a bargain.

Now that Canada's armed intrusion onto the worlds' stages is theoretically winding-down, the Canadian Armed Forces are winding-down their wartime expenditure, too. Reductions in personnel are proposed. Who's going to get the axe? The officer corps? The civilian employees? Or the grunts, erks and swabbies who whom it all depends? I'm inclined to think it will be the second - as the former can 'golden handshake' into private enterprise, or a government job, and the latter remain at a premium in, at least,  the Naval arm.

While we're on the subject. The Prime Minister Steve Harper, setting the stage for his diplomatic master stroke in Paris at the Libya-freedom-recap meeting, stated his gratitude for all the sacrifices Canadian troops were making to bring freedom to the Libyans, and to serve up a warning that we wouldn't be leaving until the job was done up good and proper - despite an 'end of mandated deployment' coming up in a week and a half.  Not only that, he stated every Canadian's willingness to send our boys, and girls, after other nasty dictators. So Assad better get his head out of his azz and resign before he gets a 'beaver bashing', too. This is great, there's an outside chance of Canada actually doing something about Darfur, a situation that can be laid directly at the feet of Canadian Talisman Energy's Sudan oil dealings some two decades ago. But Harpo wasn't 'on watch' back then, so it don't count. Neither will the 'bad men' in Bahrain and Yemen, who, in those cases are the 'rebels', rather than the dictators. Of course the rebels in Afghanistan remain the gunsight targets for our new 'training mission' - we'll still be dropping our NATO/ISAF bombs on them.

The only people I can see getting any real jollies out of out new-found 'warrior ethos' are the same sort of extravagantly-paid investment managers and hedge fund honchos who would invest a couple of hundred thousand on some massive pick-up trucks to drive around the estate weekends and a pair of Harley's for the outlaw cruises to the local coffee bar. After all, for the wise, a war is always an investment opportunity.

Big Meetings

Ontari-ari-ario played host to the world's creme de la creme this week. Leaders of the leading G20 and the ultra elite leading G8 were here for their bi-annual readjustment. I would hope that, if nothing else, they had that drummer girl and the guy in the wheel chair out to sing the 'There's no place like this for meeeee...' song. Those world leaders would have been impressed. They got all the bums out from under the overpasses and off the sewer and subway grates for the meetings in the fortress of solitude they made out of downtown TO. And they paved and painted everything from the Airport at Huntsville - which now has enough gear to land a space shuttle, to the resort at Deerhurst. They even had trained anti-terrorist geese on the dock and down by the water. But the beaver in town was only for the cops.

Meanwhile,  down in the big smoke, them evil protesters - the Black Hundreds or 'bloc centimes', as they're called, biked in from the easter' province to do dirt in the streets of Tronna. While Toronto's finest were busy putting the boots to a bunch of sissies and girls in the park, those black basterds ran away up the street to bust things where the cops weren't. Pleece Chief Bert Winkledink , wearing his team tactical outfit, was a-huffin and a-puffin about this "never before seen" level of vandalism, and the outrage to the  citizenry and peaceful protesters and such. He wasn't saying anything about the phalanx of troopers who advanced 'swinging their batons and swearing' to rescue some flatfoot trapped in his squad car and then beating a tactical retreat while being forced to allow those 'betes noires' to play with the horn and sireen before setting the car on fire. The boys in blue abandoned a couple (4) of their units in the unexpected onslaught. Wonder why they didn't rescue the cars, too, by driving them behind pleece lines? It don't look good for the budget next time round if something don't get wrecked this time round, eh?

Just a thought, but maybe those black doofi are the latest application of applied Quebecoise pleece science. They know that, "Allons mes Gars! On aura les maudits anglais!" might not get the protestors all fired up, like it didn't last time, up their way. What the hell, whether you get to toss a rock or two, or thump a liberal, or not, it's all overtime anyhow!


One of the more notable additions were the RCMP, who showed up too late to get the good hotel rooms. They were to be bunked down in some sort of Hurricane Katrina complex.  "Well hold the donut Martha", said their union reps - they're unionized these days y'know,  "We'll be having a little more respect than that, if you please." And so a last minute search for decent digs ensued. They  probably  displaced the volunteers from the Chinguacousy Volunteer PD and a couple of other detachments of lesser lights. As it is, the senior pleece service got pride of place right out front with the doorman at the King Eddy and the Royal York.  Got a good close squint at them pols and their arm-flluff, too, I'd bet. Makes a fellah feel good, or better than one of those stupid judicial inquiries about tasers. All that was missing was an Afghan 'hero' , or two, going down to the coroner's office to be saluted. Even the black hundreds might have dropped the bandanna in the passing presence of somebody's kid who paid the ultimate whammy on behalf of their freedom to protest, and get clubbed and arrested in defence of democracy.


The Mayor of Toronto Dave Whiteman, the 'silver fox', came down on the evildoers and disinvited their welcome to his city. They weren't even welcome to grab a burger on their way out of town. The good protesters, though, could stay, but they had to stay good.

Humpty McGinty the premeer of  Ontario was 'on the wall' for allowing the Tronna pleece service special powers of arrest without telling anybody. "That's a dirty lie.", he told the press, "It's on the website for anybody who wanted to look, or at least it will be next week after the G20's over".  As if the Tronna pleece service needs any special permission to do anything Chief  Bill Bailey tells them to do. Could just see that: "Well Mr Preemeer. In order to guarantee that the black horde won't get away from us and burn things like pleece cars, I will be requiring special legislation to permit my troops to arrest anyone for nothing at all. The Mayor, I know, has an aversion to this 'pleece state' sort of thing, so I wondered if ....?"

"Eggs-ackly,  Chief Bill. Allow me to set you up right away. There is this interesting little law enacted during WW2 -  that's the BIG one private Ryan got saved in - to make this a better place and it was never repealed. It's called the 'dun the hun for freedom' law and we can use that to get the riff raff out of the way of the black plague. You go Boy!"

And so he went.

By the way, the only real accomplishment of the summits,  besides a huge bill and some great eats,  is a strongly worded message to Iran and North Korea - "Mr. Netanyahu, Take Down that wall!"  - No, that;'s not it. Wait a minute ..... eh......

We Stand on Guard for Thee. Not you! Thee!

Short sides 'n back types from down in pistol country must be delighted to know, if they do, that Canada is taking the national security 'skeer' up a couple of notches. What they might not realize is that all the black uniforms, baseball caps and glocks are in reality a fund-raiser for the customs and revenue agency. They may have gleaned that from the new 'smartass' approach to the 'welcome to Canada' spiel once offered by pimply-faced summer students, but now in the arena are a generation of police foundations grads and superannuated cops. Our boys, and girls, on the 45th parallel must be receiving lessons in "I don't give a fuck" from somebody.


I had occasion to visit the land of the free home of the brave etc recently. Driving past US customs - notorious sticklers for having things right - was a breeze compared to the coming home again reception. The US border officer was interested in where we were going and what we'd be doing there. She asked about the standard stuff that we weren't supposed to be bringing into the country and examined our documents. She was pleasant, but serious and wished us a good day when she released us. Would to Gord the Canucks could do that. But then I never got to see the 'inside' of the US operation.

The return trip to the Canadian side started off the same way - with a passport check. Then an innocuous 'where have you been and when did you leave the country'? She wanted to get a look at passenger number three which involved tangling with the child-proof lock that kept a door from opening. Questions followed about what we had been doing, what we had, or didn't have with us and then returned to some math quiz - so how many days have you been gone? A muffed answer got a snotty wisecrack - and a heads down, fill-in-a-form thing. The form led to a vehicle check. Which in turn led to the discovery that we were returning to Canada with slightly over a litre of 'illicit' Crown Royal - 4 for $75 at Canadian duty-free on the way out.

That led to a close encounter with the 'inside operation'. If the outside was annoying, the inside was there to put you in your place. A bank of agents -armed, flak jacketed, black ball-capped serious young guys - lined a counter on one side. All assiduously scanning computer screens. If they weren't playing solitaire they were looking at something far more interesting. At last one of them looked up, but he looked like he was about to pass a massive turd as he took my ticket. "Driver's license" he keyed in some info, waited, keyed in some more. He asked how much liquor I had, and was surprised to hear that the three of us had 5 litres. The gal outside, who'd wanted to see passenger three, only checked two occupants. A 'friendly' agent next to him thought to ask about ages lest one of us didn't count for booze importation. The other agent keyed in some more and told me I owed $74 in duties. I remarked that it was a lot of duty compared to the price of the booze. He told me he'd done me favour because it should have been more. He sent me over to pay the cashier.

The cashier was more personable and I asked her if she would tell me why I owed more in duties for a litre of booze than I would regularly pay with all the duties and taxes imposed in a liquor store. She told me some stuff about taxes on the duties, but I still couldn't understand how the booze had almost doubled in regular price. She was telling me that because I was 'over' the duties were now payable on all the booze. I replied that had I known this, I would have left the bottle at the last rest stop. A civilian employee said something quietly to her and she offered that I could 'abandon' the bottle in lieu of paying the duty. At $74 I thought that a good idea. I was directed, with a printout, back to the agent from which I'd come.

"The agent at the cashier's desk tells me I can abandon that bottle, I think $74 bucks duty is a bit too high."
"Yeah, but you've already paid it." he said.
"No, I haven't." I replied.
"Well where did you get this receipt?", he asked.
"The gal at the cashier's wicket gave it to me, to give to you." This last induced another bimmie face.
"You're going to abandon the liquor?"
"Yep! Can I go get it?"
"Yeah."

When I returned, I thought the agent really had needed a dump for he was nowhere to be seen. The others either didn't know where he'd gone, or didn't think I needed to know where he'd gone. So I stood in front of his empty station holding a bottle of CR and looking more stupid than usual. Eventually he returned a supervisor in tow. Like 'unringing' a supermarket sale, he had to 'unring' the duty impost. It was then that he discovered the duty was really only $21. I asked him if there was any other information I could provide that might him lower the duty even more.

I paid the $21 and kept my hooch.

On the way out I passed a body-builder in Tshirt and jeans with a gold badge on his belt and a pistol under his arm. A sheaf of paper in hand. Parked beside our car was an unremarkable white van with 'Government of the USA' stencilled unobtrusively on the door. A larger version of the first guy was lowering a set of steps at the rear door of the van. Then he took a look around Canada while he waited.
We didn't wait to see who their passenger was to be, my buddies wanted to leave before a wisecrack about booze and national security got us arrested.

$75 bucks, $21 bucks - 10 cars at a time raking in $2,000-$3,000 an hour in duties and imposts. With the odd chance of finding a load of dope or catching a sneaky 'enterer'. Or maybe even having somebody drop an imported pistol on the ground. Jobs the border service has always done but with less service now and and a lot more negativity.

Somehow I don't think that a pick-up truck full of patriots from down south would get the same attention, unless they were of a coloured persuasion. I'd love to see what they'd do to their head honcho 'BIG Jim' VanLoan - an Estonian refugee with a Dutch name who looks like an Indian. But they'd probably recognize an asshole as 'one of their own'. I think they've all been transferred from EI - cutbacks in that ministry to fill a burgeoning 'war on terror' - and everybody else.